Last year, there has been a hashtag “AssholeParents” circling around Facebook. What this ostensibly harmless movement did was to encourage parents to post their child’s daily tantrums to social media hoping to find camaraderie among parents who experience the same situation in their everyday lives and of course humor each tantrum their children is having. But truth to the fact is, one simple hashtag doesn’t stop there. There are innumerable blog posts and “unathourized” photo sharing out in the internet that usually resort to toddler shaming and broadcasting their tantrums making it a “laughing matter”.
Before anything else, let’s look at the definition of TANTRUMS.
According to Google;
noun: tantrum; plural noun: tantrums
an uncontrolled outburst of anger and frustration, typically in a young child.
“he has temper tantrums if he can’t get his own way”
synonyms: fit of temper, fit of rage, fit of pique, fit, outburst, flare-up, blow-up, pet, paroxysm, frenzy, bad mood, mood, huff, scene; More
early 18th century: of unknown origin.
According to Wikipedia, In Toddlers, Tantrums are one of the most common forms of problematic behavior in young children, but tend to decrease in frequency and intensity as the child grows older. For the toddler, tantrums can be considered as normal, even as gauges of a developing strength of character.
While tantrums are sometimes seen as a predictor of future anti-social behaviour, in another sense they are simply an age-appropriate sign of excessive frustration, and will diminish over time given a calm and consistent handling. Parental containment where a child cannot contain itself—rather than what the child is ostensibly demanding—may be what is really required.
Of course as a Mom, it’s not always sunny… there are also times of storm at home. It gets rough at one point, other times… rougher. In one day, there are multiple opportunities for a tantrum even in the most simple things like changing clothes, taking a bath and eating dinner. Those are some of the tantrum triggers that make your child throw a hissy fit, but are those enough reasons to post their moments of emotional outbursts?
Even if you want to connect with other moms and share similar experience with them – per se misery loves company, you may not want to do it at the expense of your child.
Here are some reasons why you should not share your child’s tantrums on social media?
1. You are tearing your child down.
Your job as a parent is to build your child up and not crush him down. Lately, child shaming has grown a trend in social media such as Facebook and Youtube. Toddler having tantrums because someone took the phone off him or a kid having a fit in the mall because his Mom’s not buying his favorite toy. You’ve seen those around haven’t you? Those photos and videos in social media will have its way to spread out and this kind of practices will definitely have a long term effect. How about the effect it will bring in your relationship with your child? Remember that internet is forever and will here to stay. In this note, you should rather share images of your child having fun than screaming and crying. Why not focus on the positive in your day than fixate on the negatives? Why not share and celebrate your child’s progress rather than shame him?
2. You have to attend to your child and calm him.
The first thing you should do when your child is throwing a fit is to know the reason why he’s doing it. Assess the situation. Calm him down. Comfort him in your arms. Talk to him. The thing you don’t want to do is to reach for your camera or smart phone to take photos or videos of your child.
3. You know you have the right to privacy.
There are moments in our life that is not to be shared and one of it is when your child is screaming and crying. Social media allows us to post anything on the net, but we still have the choice and we have the right to privacy. Rule of the thumb: if your child is in a moment of sadness, pain and anger… do not share it!!!
4. Your child should not be a laughing matter, especially when they’re upset.
You are building your child’s reputation and character. Do you want people to remember him as a whiny, tantruming child rather than a happy, confident, charming boy? Let’s put it this way, do you want to post your face on Facebook while you’re having a meltdown? How about when you’re angry and while you’re yelling at your kids? You choose… If you don’t want anybody to see your ugly-angry or ugly-sad face on Social Media, then don’t share your child’s.